- Kaitlin: So.
- I have a man profile.
- Because this is what I think about when alone in my apartment watching television shows with men whom I theoretically adore because they are aesthetically pleasing to me and characters who I can neither be annoyed by nor turned away from.
- I like a man with boyish charm. One who reads and is well spoken. A nerd in some ways perhaps an artist or sports enthusiast in others. Funny and kind but quick to say, "Fuck off" if things get out of line.
- I think I might be looking for me, but as a guy. Then again I might be thinking rather highly of myself in this context.
- i like it
- nah i don't think that sound entirely like you as a guy
- although there are some similarities
- did you already put this on tumblr?
- I wrote that off the cuff.
- Should I tumbl it?
- Let it tumbl, if you will.
- Have it tumbl for ya?
- Until it all tumbls down.
- Tumbling in the deep, perhaps.
Or something to that effect. Bottom line is Mr. Romney claims to have read Twilight as his granddaughter was into it and he wanted to bond with her (which, I will admit, is rather a sweet notion). But here’s how I’m thinking the interview prep went:
Advisors: Our tracking says that you need to appear hipper.
Advisors: Yes, more relatable to the youth vote.
Romney: Well I think I’m a pretty cool grandpa.
Advisors: Oh, of course, but we know you and see you with your great big Mormon family. The public doesn’t get to have that access to you.
Romney: Oh, okay, well how do we do this?
Advisor 1: We think you should put your name in with a trend.
Romney: Like hip hop?
Advisor 1: No, that’s too ethnic.
Advisor 2: We’re thinking something booky.
Advisor 1: Right. Like the Percy Jackson series.
Romney: No, can’t do those.
Advisor 1: Why not?
Advisor 2: Greek gods. Blasphemy.
Advisor 3: Plus the movie didn’t do well at the box office. Harry Potter?
Advisor 2: Witches.
Advisor 1: British.
Advisor 2: Un-American.
Advisor 2: Twilight?
Romney: Twilight? Is that the one with the sparkly kid?
Advisor 2: Well, yes.
Advisor 1: The author is Mormon.
Advisor 3: The movies kill at the box office.
Advisor 2: And the whole thing is against pre-marital sex.
Romney: She gives birth to a vampire, doesn’t she?
Advisor 3: It’s giving up life as you know it for love.
Advisor 1: As you would to lead the nation.
Romney: Well, I can do that.
And as an avid viewer of The West Wing, I am an authority on how these things go.
I’m looking to sublease my apt starting July 1. Rent is $895. Seriously a great deal for the neighborhood. Blocks from the lake, y’all!
I will have pix as soon as I’m back from vacay. Please reblog if you’re from Chicago or you like me. Thank you!
Interested parties can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Based on today’s pictures I think that Kate Middleton needs to gain some weight if she wants to be fertile. Still beautiful though!
- Inez: So, will you rub my shoulder when you come over tonight? It's really fucked.
- Me: Sigh. Isn't this what you have boyfriends for?
- Inez: I know, but you do it so much better than he does.