So I'm watching the Today Show this morning and Mitt Romney says, "That Twilight book is pretty cool."
Or something to that effect. Bottom line is Mr. Romney claims to have read Twilight as his granddaughter was into it and he wanted to bond with her (which, I will admit, is rather a sweet notion). But here’s how I’m thinking the interview prep went:
Advisors: Our tracking says that you need to appear hipper.
Romney: Hipper?
Advisors: Yes, more relatable to the youth vote.
Romney: Well I think I’m a pretty cool grandpa.
Advisors: Oh, of course, but we know you and see you with your great big Mormon family. The public doesn’t get to have that access to you.
Romney: Oh, okay, well how do we do this?
Advisor 1: We think you should put your name in with a trend.
Romney: Like hip hop?
Advisor 1: No, that’s too ethnic.
Advisor 2: We’re thinking something booky.
Romney: Booky?
Advisor 1: Right. Like the Percy Jackson series.
Romney: No, can’t do those.
Advisor 1: Why not?
Advisor 2: Greek gods. Blasphemy.
Advisor 3: Plus the movie didn’t do well at the box office. Harry Potter?
Advisor 2: Witches.
Advisor 1: British.
Advisor 2: Un-American.
Advisor 2: Twilight?
Romney: Twilight? Is that the one with the sparkly kid?
Advisor 2: Well, yes.
Advisor 1: The author is Mormon.
Advisor 3: The movies kill at the box office.
Advisor 2: And the whole thing is against pre-marital sex.
Romney: She gives birth to a vampire, doesn’t she?
Advisor 3: It’s giving up life as you know it for love.
Advisor 1: As you would to lead the nation.
Romney: Well, I can do that.
And as an avid viewer of The West Wing, I am an authority on how these things go.
