September 2011
47 posts
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Introducing what may be a new feature: Gay or...
A man riding the Megabus alone reaches into his yellow and black back pack and squeezes lotion onto his hands. Upon further inspection, the bottle of lotion is securely stored in a ziploc baggie.
So. Gay or straight?
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Ladies:
Just because you have small boobs does not mean you should go sans bra while wearing a sheer white tshirt. In the rain. A little mystery is good.
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I’m finally going back into the office today after being sick Monday and Tuesday. Given that I will be leaving early Thursday to catch the Megabus and subsequently out Friday for my brother’s big game, my less than two day work week should be an interesting testament and test as to just how shitty my job is.
Wish me luck!
Anonymous asked: Can you take a vid of your cousin skating at Fashion on Ice?
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A white girl in high school once told me that she would have sex with a black guy but she would never have a child with one because the kid might come out striped or polka dotted. “It’s true you know. I’ve seen pictures.”
I’m not sure what made me think of that.
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Anonymous asked: i think you look absolutely beautiful with glasses!
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Anonymous asked: regarding your post about new girl and glasses, doesn't good looking but ultimately mean guy say at one point "I like your glasses" and she replies "they help me see"? And schmidt says that he'd 'do her' no matter what? so they weren't saying she wasn't hot with them on or anything...?
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Boys Don't Make Passes at Girls Who Wear Glasses.
As you may have noticed yesterday, I sometimes wear glasses. Sometimes I go without, instead squinting to read the street sign ahead or the markings on a chalkboard in front of me. On a rare occasion, I’ll throw in some contacts so that I can judge the attractiveness of a man without aforementioned squinting or relying on the judgement of the friends around me. Not that I would go and do...
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Get excited, Guys and Gals! I'm actually going to...
I feel like with the whole Oh, shit, my apartment burned down! thing and the trying to get somewhere at work thing I haven’t really gotten to write anything fun lately. No worries! Mama’s back and it’ll come with pictures. Here’s a hint of what I’m working on:
This is what I look like when I wear my glasses.
This is what I look like when I don’t.
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Do you ever just want to suddenly yell, "King Kong...
No? Just me?
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If you've never made me (almost) pee my pants with...
We probably aren’t actually friends.
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Things Change When Life - Actual Life - Happens.
I’ve stopped letting the really stupid stuff get me in a huff. Or at least I’m trying to stop letting the really stupid stuff get me in a huff. Perhaps this is why when someone waxes poetic on the idiocy of Emmy voters (who, in truth, do tend to get things wrong in at least one category but, hey, it’s an award not a cure to cancer or anything) I roll my eyes and decide that I...
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A moment of genuinely confused nerdery:
If Wolverine got claws because of some weird surgical thing and the rest of the X-Men got their powers as mutations then if Wolverine really an X-Man? Bear in mind this question stems from a commercial I just saw and I actually know nothing about comic books and the like.
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“There are people in this town who would sooner shoot you over their dog than...”
– A sheriff on an episode if Unsolved Mysteries. Priceless.
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Color me crazy, but I do not have any desire to...
I don’t find her all that funny while she rips off shtick on Chelsea Lately, I don’t find her all that funny while she rips off the hot but gross guy’s kind of girl thing on stage, I don’t find her all that funny when she wears a hoodie with a formal dress in the teasers to her new show. Woop. Dee. Doo. There have got to be funnier women to represent funny women on TV....
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Reasons I know I had a good idea:
My boss took credit for it.
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Things that I Want in my Belly...Right this...
Steak (lean, medium)
Baked potato (rubbed down with salt and garlic then grilled wrapped in tin foil)
Corn on the cob
Biscuits (fresh out the oven)
Quick. Someone feed me. ASAP.
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Friends is on Nick at Nite Now.
We are officially old.
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Quote of my walk home this evening, in song:
“I don’t care how you fuck me, just fuck me with your big dick.”
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For Elisa:
Enchiladas?
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So your job is to blog.
That’s great, I’m really happy for you. Truly, if I was getting paid to sit on Tumblr all day I’d be a happy camper. But here’s the thing. If your company’s blog is always reblogging you and your blog is always reblogging your company’s blog, neither are good blogs. So, if you could work a little bit harder, I’d be even happier for your awesome gig.
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“Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness”
– George Santayana via the Skinny Bitch calendar. Call me crazy, but I kind of think it’s the knowledge of what is possible that makes the actual all the more depressing. Nice thought though.
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I can finally write a post on a computer instead...
But I really don’t have anything to say. I’m just too damn exhausted to really be clever or funny or interesting or whatever it is that I am that makes you follow and read my posts. I need a vacation. Oh, wait, I was on one when my place burned down. Dumb luck.
Anyway, thanks a million to those of you who have been so supportive and sent lovely kind words and thoughts my way. I...
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This whole no cable or Internet thing is getting really old and it’s really only been a day. Thank goodness I got a fancy phone with Internet for graduation, otherwise I’d be going bat shit in this apartment until Saturday.
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I just got dinner delivered on an unpacking break.
The delivery guy came to my door, “the apartment below you burned down?” “Um, yeah that was my old place. I just moved in here today.”
Needless to say my chicken sandwich was a little depressing.
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Totally ok with a hotel full of men in town for a Hellenic Soccer tournament. Is that wrong?
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