Or something to that effect. Bottom line is Mr. Romney claims to have read Twilight as his granddaughter was into it and he wanted to bond with her (which, I will admit, is rather a sweet notion). But here’s how I’m thinking the interview prep went:
Advisors: Our tracking says that you need to appear hipper.
Advisors: Yes, more relatable to the youth vote.
Romney: Well I think I’m a pretty cool grandpa.
Advisors: Oh, of course, but we know you and see you with your great big Mormon family. The public doesn’t get to have that access to you.
Romney: Oh, okay, well how do we do this?
Advisor 1: We think you should put your name in with a trend.
Romney: Like hip hop?
Advisor 1: No, that’s too ethnic.
Advisor 2: We’re thinking something booky.
Advisor 1: Right. Like the Percy Jackson series.
Romney: No, can’t do those.
Advisor 1: Why not?
Advisor 2: Greek gods. Blasphemy.
Advisor 3: Plus the movie didn’t do well at the box office. Harry Potter?
Advisor 2: Witches.
Advisor 1: British.
Advisor 2: Un-American.
Advisor 2: Twilight?
Romney: Twilight? Is that the one with the sparkly kid?
Advisor 2: Well, yes.
Advisor 1: The author is Mormon.
Advisor 3: The movies kill at the box office.
Advisor 2: And the whole thing is against pre-marital sex.
Romney: She gives birth to a vampire, doesn’t she?
Advisor 3: It’s giving up life as you know it for love.
Advisor 1: As you would to lead the nation.
Romney: Well, I can do that.
And as an avid viewer of The West Wing, I am an authority on how these things go.